Things to remember the next time I fly:
Weigh my bags at home.
Remove 4.5 pounds from my luggage before I get to the airport.
Don’t pack my undies on top.
Check my carry-on for perfume bottles hidden in the lining.
Okay, I admit this is a blonde thing-never tell the inspectors my luggage is borrowed.
Computer bags leave blisters when I shift the extra 4.5 pounds of essentials from my suitcase to my carry-on, so use a backpack.
Eat well before the trip and plan to arrive at my destination a few hours earlier than necessary to allow time to locate my lost luggage when I get off the plane.
If it’s a full flight going home-including small animals and a hockey team-and the Cowboys are playing, take the free ticket/meal/hotel offer to give up my seat and stay overnight, especially if my kids have homework due the next day.
Disregard the previous item on this list if my luggage is over the weight limit-no free ticket/meal/hotel is worth going through the check-in process again.
When I have a middle seat, grab at least one armrest before the guys next to me are seated.
Ask the flight attendant for another seat the minute the man next to me claims to be a martial arts instructor specializing in taking full-force kicks to the groin.
No matter how many books I remove from my suitcase, it will always be 4.5 pounds over the maximum allowed weight, so go ahead and pay for overweight bags when I reserve my ticket.
