We bought a fish aquarium for Christmas. Novice fish-people that we are, we relied heavily on the wisdom of the teenage pet store clerk in choosing the fish to inhabit our new piece of furniture.
We were careful to choose fish that would get along. Docile, peace-loving fish—you know, the kind that just float happily along. We chose three types of goldfish, nine tetra, and one balloon molly. And there was our problem—the molly.
A few days later, we noticed Molly picking on every fish within nipping distance. (Do fish bite? It sure looked like it.) The poor goldfish didn’t have a chance, even though they were twice her size. We don’t really know if Molly was a female or male, but with a name like Molly….
Molly was twice as quick, and she constantly tortured the other fish. So, after a family debate, we decided to put her in a bucket until we could return her to the pet store. Our youngest daughter was relieved, because other family members were voting for the royal flush.
A few days passed, and we still had Molly in the bucket because our schedule hadn’t permitted a trip to the pet store. We decided to give Molly a second chance, so we put her back in the aquarium with the other fish.
The other fish had enjoyed a few days of peaceful drifting, but they must have remembered her because they kept their distance. Molly did too, at first. But a couple of days later, she was back to her old ways. Evidently, “time out” doesn’t work on fish.
Molly had a couple of problems. Obviously, she wasn’t kind—it was her nature to pick on others. She was an aggressive fish. Discipline and isolation didn’t coerce her into changing her behavior. Even after experiencing the discomfort of living in an old bucket, this fish maintained her aggressive, antisocial behavior. Kindness was foreign to Molly.
How many of us are like Molly? What about our children? While we pass out valentines this month, have we considered what love for others really means? How are we doing within our families, churches, communities, and organizations? Have we allowed God to change our natures, to consider others’ needs, and to break our hearts for the hurts of others? Are we kind to those with different beliefs, convictions, appearances, standards, and lifestyles? We are a diverse group of homeschoolers, yet Christ is our bond; kindness is the outworking of our professed faith. True, godly love knows how to be kind.
God’s Word commands us to “be kind.” The word is so tiny—just four little letters—that the message sometimes gets missed in the middle of long lists of attributes. Paul often exhorts us to be kind in his epistles and letters, but if you don’t look closely, you’ll miss the little word with the big meaning.
Titus 2 instructs older women to teach younger women many things, and hidden quietly in the middle of the list is “be… kind.” The Proverbs 31 woman is described as someone with “the teaching of kindness on her tongue.” The command of this little word is simple to understand but often hard to put into action.
We daily see the struggle within our own homes. Nothing is more discouraging for a mom than to hear her kids bickering throughout the day. As homeschoolers, we know the importance of teaching our kids that they are each others’ best friends. We tell our kids friendship begins with kindness, yet our old natures transform a little word into an enormous undertaking, making kindness an elusive goal.
How do we teach kindness to our children? Model it. Live it daily. Remember that kindness out of God’s balance ignores the responsibility to speak the truth in love, to confront sin, and to challenge.
Watch the tone of our voices. Consistently hold our kids accountable to be kind to each other, by keeping them close to us throughout the day and correcting minor snippiness the first time. Don’t allow discourtesy. Require manners and considerate speech.
Encourage kindness by allowing them to be the recipients of it and letting them witness how it affects others. Make a game of doing kind things for others. Start with our families, and then expand our circles of kindness.
Reach out to the homeschooling community. Stretch beyond the comfort zone. Seek out families new to the area, families with large numbers of kids, and families with special needs. Be available to new homeschoolers, offer veteran knowledge, and share our experiences. Don’t put guilt trips on other homeschoolers because they choose to educate their children differently. Give each other the freedom to follow God as He leads each family.
Be kind.
The “random act of kindness” movement has recently gotten attention from the media. The movement encourages strangers to do kind deeds for others randomly throughout society—like paying for the fast food order of the car behind you in a drive-through line, helping someone with a flat tire, or leaving a bag of groceries on someone’s porch. Simply put, the random acts of kindness encourage us to be kind to any man, woman or child we might have the opportunity to meet.
Even those who don’t profess faith in Christ can see the value of kindness in society. How much more should we who claim to know the Source of true kindness treasure and display this attribute of our God.
King David initiated a somewhat random act of kindness in 2 Samuel 9. He sought out relatives of his dear deceased friend Jonathan and found a crippled son, Mephibosheth. David poured out his goodness to Mephibosheth and introduced this most unlikely recipient to the blessings of God. What a privilege to be God’s hand of goodness to others!
Certainly, the Good Samaritan knew this privilege first-hand. As he cleaned and dressed the wounds of a stranger, giving of himself and his time, he assumed responsibility for Mr. Anyman, personally bearing the cost of this broken man’s pain. The Good Samaritan defined kindness by his life.
As believers, we recognize the need to go beyond merely doing random deeds. We are entrusted with the very nature of God—stewards of His goodness and love to be regularly poured out to those He brings into our lives. We are keepers of His kindness, a kindness born of a relationship with the Giver of all good things, a treasure recognized only when it is given away.
Well, our wayward fish never learned her lesson. She stubbornly continued picking at the goldfish neighbors in her community. Molly just couldn’t change her unkind ways. She did what comes natural for a balloon molly.
But we are different. We are created in the image of God—an image reflecting kindness, compassion, and true love. As David reached beyond his comfortable world to extend God’s kindness to another, and as the Samaritan took the time to inconvenience himself with a stranger’s needs, so should we remember to be kind.
“And so, as those who have been chosen of God, holy and beloved, put on a heart of compassion, kindness…” (Colossians 3: 12).
“And be kind to one another…” (Ephesians 4:32).
Adapted from an earlier article by Jayme Durant, originally published February, 2001.
