“Where’s Robert?”
The city recreational league softball team had their big game, and Robert was the star player. Every time he batted, runs came in. And now the team was playing for the championship, in large part because of Robert’s athletic abilities. They needed him.
But Robert was nowhere to be seen. Teammates grumbled louder and louder with each passing minute. The coach adjusted the lineup multiple times, moving Robert’s name lower and lower on the list. If Robert showed up before his time at bat, they could keep him in the lineup. But it was looking grim, and impatience had long given way to irritation.
At the last second, Robert sauntered up to the dugout with a cheerful, “Hi, guys.” He was completely oblivious to how annoyed everyone was until the coach, prompted by his angry team, said sarcastically, “Robert, glad you could make it.” Followed by a few choice remarks.
I’m sure we’ve all had times when we were irritated with someone who inconvenienced us. Maybe we could even insert ourselves in Robert’s place as the late ones who caused trouble for everyone in our groups. But did we or they stop to find out the reason? There was more to Robert’s story, but before the team learned what it was, a lot of words—mostly unpleasant—were spoken.
Words. Attitudes. Actions.
We don’t realize how far-reaching their effects can be, and yet they often last long past the moment we deliver them. Like dropping a pebble in a pond, the resulting ripples spread outward in ever-widening circles. We may have dropped it carelessly, thinking it was an insignificant action, a fleeting moment. But the ripples persist after we’ve forgotten the initial splash.
I remember a few pebbles that were dropped into my life. Maybe you can, too. A kind word, a thoughtful act, a listening ear. Enriching, ennobling, empowering words and actions offering hope and encouragement, propelling those they touch to love and good deeds, or inspiring bravery, gumption, and courage. They may even change lives.
Think for a moment about times when someone said or did something that gave you courage to make a change, try something new, or act valiantly on behalf of someone else. Maybe someone’s words led you to examine what you’d always accepted without question or empowered you to take a hard step. Possibly some encounters made waves—even tsunamis—enough to become turning points in your life’s journey.
Consider the people you’ve known—family members, friends like my friend Robert, acquaintances or work colleagues, leaders you’ve watched and learned from. You’ve witnessed how they live, speak, and go about their lives. Your experiences with them are etched in your mind. They are the familiar voices in your head. Their words and actions have shaped you—you’re a different person because your life and theirs have in some ways been woven together.
Think about the books you’ve read by people whose words, written decades or centuries ago, still linger in your mind. The autobiography of someone dying from cancer, the widow whose husband fought a terrorist takeover of his plane, the missionaries serving in a hostile land, the avant-garde writer who challenged your complacency with their revolutionary ideas. Whether they lived recently or in a different century, wrote nearby or halfway around the planet, their words and actions influenced who you are today.
Through the internet, we can also share connections with strangers all over the world. From my home in the United States, I can respond to a post from a scholar in Australia whose words touched me. I can read a desperate plea for prayer by someone in England who is saying goodbye to a beloved family member, and I can shed tears for their pain. The posts and blogs that you follow might inspire you to reconsider your position on issues, look at life from another perspective, or care about people you might never meet.
It’s a small world, and it doesn’t take long for the ripples of your life to spread to its far ends.
I’m here to tell you that what you do matters. The “big” things, certainly, but don’t underestimate the little things, the ones you take for granted. They aren’t always small to someone else. Whether or not you’ve been given a position of leadership, you have the opportunity to touch lives in ways that others may not. Don’t use this opportunity, this position, for your own advantage. Pour out the good things onto others.
Let’s go back to the softball field where Robert had just sauntered up to the dugout. The teammates asking “Where’s Robert?” got their answer but not before letting him know how annoyed they were. Robert’s response? A shrug and a simple reply: “I’m sorry, guys. I was backing out of my driveway, and I noticed Pete—my neighbor with cancer—was outside mowing his lawn. I couldn’t let him do that. So, I mowed the lawn for him before I headed this way.”
He valued helping a sick neighbor over a softball game that might be played today and forgotten tomorrow. His teammates looked down, sheepishly kicking the sand, then walked quietly back to their seats in the dugout. If you listened really closely, you could’ve heard a pebble drop.
Robert’s words and actions demonstrated a different kind of leadership—one that values people, prioritizes the important things, and gets the right things done. That was Robert—how he lived his life. He wasn’t pressured to change his agenda to suit others. Caring for people was in his DNA. And he still squeezed in time to hit a few homeruns with his friends and family in a city recreational softball game.
He demonstrated true leadership. He didn’t need a title or a position of authority to make an impact. He was a leader to his coach and teammates that day, reminding them that he didn’t need a bat and a ball to hit a homerun in life.
Have you ever pictured yourself as a different kind of leader than the ones you’ve known? The fact that you’re reading this book tells me you’re thinking about leadership, about what it is and how to do it.
Maybe you’ve already got some ideas. You’ve got a team, you’re getting things accomplished, and everyone is moving in the same direction together—you just want to stay on top of everything and find ways to do things better.
You might be in a position where you struggle with the weight of leadership or you’re unsure how to steward that responsibility. If you see it as a calling and a privilege, then you want to do it right.
Wherever you find yourself on the leadership spectrum, you can be sure a desire to lead with integrity and compassion for others will carry you forward. In this book, I share my leadership challenges, struggles, highlights, and even embarrassing moments. I also give a glimpse of the awe I’ve felt as I’ve worked alongside some of the most talented people I’ve ever met—colleagues who started as coworkers and grew to be incredible leaders in their own right.
Leaders drop pebbles. First one. Then another. They skip some along the surface. They do the hard things, the unusual things, the quiet things that make a difference to someone else. Sometimes, they make waves. They set good things in motion—ripples that continue for a lifetime. And beyond.
That leader could be you.
Let’s pick up a few pebbles and get started.
*Excerpt from RIPPLES: be the leader who sets good things in motion, by Jayme Durant.
Featured image by Scott Webb on Unsplash
